A Slower Pace

This morning the kids started the day off on the wrong foot. They began arguing at breakfast — not a full knock down, drag out fight but just little sniping here and there. Because they were in sour moods, I decided to put on “angry” music on the networked MP3 player.

Some background before I go any further. My musical tastes vary greatly from oldies 60’s and 70’s music that my parents listened to when I was young (read The Beatles and The Carpenters) to heavy metal during my rebellious teenage years (Scorpions, Michael Schenker, Van Halen) to alternative (the Offspring, Toadies) to instrumental (George Winston). However, day in and day out for the last 13 or 14 years I have been a country music fan. Simple American music that reflects good ol’ American values with lyrics you can actually understand. It’s even better now that I’m a dad and I can listen to the music in front of my kids — which I can’t say for some of the groups I named previously. Anyway, that’s pretty much what we listen to in the car and at home and the kids like it and have gotten used to it.

So I’ll continue the story.

Kids cranky and nipping at each other. I turn on “angry” music from my youth. My wife looked at me very weird when the song “One” from Metallica came on. If you haven’t heard it, the song starts off very softly with a single slow guitar. However, a few minutes into the song, guitars are furiously blaring and drums are machine gunning from the speakers. My son, with a turned up nose, looked at me and said “I don’t like this”. I, in turn, told him that I did not like the way he was fighting with his sister. Within seconds, we agreed that if I turned off the music that he would be nice to his sister.

While I was at first trying to be funny just to my wife, I ended up using Metallica as a discipline tool for my kids. Pretty damn funny if you ask me. And they’ll probably never listen or get into that kind of music as they grow up to boot.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

As promised, I took the whole family out last night to watch the firefly display. The kids had never seen something like that and were mesmerized by the random flashing all over the front lawn down to the treeline and creek. We sat there on the front porch steps as a family for about 15 minutes in amazement. It was truly beautiful. It reminded me of when we would go and watch the 4th of July fireworks…..except without the booms and bangs reverberating in the sky. It was just very peaceful to soak in nature’s fireworks display.

And to think that we’ll get this all summer. How lucky are we.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This week at work, I have been on a special project that takes me away from my normal staff and routine. While they continue on without me (with no problem I might add), I have been apart elsewhere physically and timewise. I will catch up with all of them tomorrow but these last two days I have felt disconnected.

I feel that way with this blog a bit now. While I never received lots of comments from readers, having turned off the comments section because of the gambling spammers (see this post) gives me that same disconnected feeling. I feel that I am in a pitch black room talking (posting) in complete silence. There might be people in the room; there might not be. But I won’t know until I turn on the light.

Yesterday’s post gives me the opportunity to turn on the light. I am interested to know the blessings you discovered right at your feet. I encourage you to drop me an email here and let me know.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

We’ve been back from our spring break vacation back to California for about a month now and here is one of the postings I promised.

First observations: while it was nice to be back in familiar territory, my first thought was “Damn, there sure are a lot of people here”. We hit LAX on a Saturday afternoon. It felt like the day before Thanksgiving — the busiest travel day of the year. And the normal 45 minute drive back to my folks’ home took us 2 1/2 hours — although in fairness I don’t know what year I decided that 45 minutes was “normal” for a drive to the airport. Maybe 1989? And we did take the coast which was infected with people trying to get to the beach on the standard spring day in southern California. And it didn’t help that the four lane PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) was down to a two lane PCH.

I was reminded to be in competition driving mode by the bus driver who was yelling out her window to a young couple carelessly blasting rap music out of their convertible Mustang. And another reminder in the form of “the bird” flipped to my by a lady who U-turned in front of me. I gave her the horn to let her know that I had switched from my Kentucky driving mode into my previous California driving mode. It was all very interesting.

A nice dinner with my folks kicked off our eating checklist. Being gone for 3 1/2 months, there were several places that we HAD to eat at while in CA. Cheesecake Factory was one of them (although we are getting one in Louisville this summer — my wife is thrilled!). Following that were In N Out Burger (the best burgers in the world!), Baja Fresh, Wood Ranch and Mission Burrito with some Jamba Juice snacks sprinkled in.

We also hit a few of the tourist traps — Disneyland, the beach, Santa Barbara and the Reagan Library. Cramming all of this into our trip along with family and friends was quite challenging but my wife did a great job scheduling everything. I needed a few days off just to recuperate from our vacation!

Our time there seemed like a blur — which blatantly contrasted with our settled in slower pace at home in Kentucky. Granted, we had lots to see and people to visit in a short amount of time but it also seemed par for the course when we lived there. Aside from not living in our old house, it seemed as if we could slide right back into the pace. But after slowing down we realized that we didn’t want to. Sure we missed our family and friends. And it was great spending time with them, catching up, telling stories, seeing what changed. And we missed the weather with it’s cookie-cutter, sun-always-on theme. But we came to realize that the decision we had made months before and were still in the midst of was the right one for our family. Through all the effort, challenges, sorrow, changes and differences, we have morphed into a more focused family.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

Note to readers, the first part of this posting is done by Mrs. Aslowerpace in honor of Mother’s Day.

Last week after Church I went shopping and came home with two new dresses. I came in and gave Hubby a kiss and thanked him for my Mother’s Day gift. I figured I got what I wanted and he didn’t have to worry about it now.

Today I slept until 7:00! For someone who is up every day at 5:00 am, that is sleeping in for me. I was greeted by my husband and daughters who made coffee for me. Our son who made his usual way to our bed at 3:00 am is sleeping beside me. As I read my homemade cards, he wakes up. He said he has a very special Mother’s Day present for me and leaves the room. While I drink my coffee and wait for my breakfast in bed to arrive, My son returns with a huge smile. He says he has brushed his teeth for me. You see normally it’s like pulling teeth to get him to brush his teeth. I tell him I am very happy and he says there is more. He returns dressed for Church (and it’s not his army shorts) and drags me out of bed to show me that he has cleaned his room (OK so he shoved the toys in the closet, but it still counts). Happy Mother’s Day to me! Dan and the girls arrive with my breakfast. Both girls are dressed and are also ready for Church. There has been no fighting, whining or yelling this morning. This, along with my homemade gifts, are my Mother’s Day gift. It’s the little simple things in life that count. Not the two dresses I bought for myself. It was my son being proud of himself. It is the spark in both my daughter’s faces as I tear when I read the cards they have made for me. It is my husband who made breakfast and did the dishes for me. These “things” which are not material things have made this Mother’s Day special. My Mom was taken from me when I was too young and I always wished I could make her that special card or picture. I hope all the Moms who receive these special gifts from their children appreciate and cherish them. You can always buy a dress — soon your children will be going to Hallmark for the card and it’s just not the same!

Happy Mother’s Day!

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

That post title was on one of the cups at a party we went to today. While to the rest of the world it might have been a regular Saturday, almost the whole city of Louisville stopped for the Kentucky Derby. I learned lots of things about horse racing today — betting, terminology, tradition, etc. In the pools going at our neighbor’s party, my wife and won the first three…..by picking out of a hat. I might as well have been playing slot machines. Anyway, we spent all afternoon over there while all the kids had a ball playing from neighbor house to neighbor house to neighbor house. It was a nice introduction to the Derby fever that takes over for a week or two here. Some day we might actually make it to the track.

We started the day out at our soccer game. We still lost but things went much better. First off, I recruited one of the dads to act as my assistant coach. His sole job was to manage the off field players. That helped immensely and let me keep my concentration on focusing the players and shouting encouragement. (Thanks for your help Coach George!!!!!) Play time was pretty even for each player and they are slowly becoming more aggressive towards the ball. My one player who at the first practice ran away from the ball and at the last game actually ran towards the ball, finally kicked the ball in the game…..TWICE! I was so proud of him and to me that was worth a score or two. It was a huge leap for this timid kid.

I was able to end the day sneaking up to the pond down the street on a neighbor’s farm. My son and I joined our neighbor Larry (the one who has helped me out on several occasions) and his son for some impromptu fishing time. We caught and released a few bluegill and the boys got some more time of playing. They enjoyed reeling in the fish, throwing them back and looking for frogs. As the sun set and the bobbers on the pond became harder to see, I soaked in the memory. It is exactly the kind of country living I had hoped for in moving out here. I look forward to many more of these “rest stops” on the road journey of life. I equate it to the scenic views along the roadside where you stop, get out and just enjoy the beautiful scenery. Life has many of those similar stops but so many times we just whiz on by.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

This evening we had our second soccer practice for 4-6 year old bee hive soccer (if you’ve ever watched a little kid’s soccer game you know what I mean). The games on Tuesday and Saturday were unfortunately rained out. It was good to see the kids again and even better that all the names I remembered still stuck in my brain. I make a huge effort to know the kids’ names at the first practice. I tell the parents that I might never know their names (other than they are the parents of “Johnny”) but since we are here for the kids that I’ll get their names straight.

At the end of practice, we had a short scrimmage against the other team that was practicing. What was most exciting was seeing how different players developed or reacted in a game situation…..which is complete chaos with 20 little, unlimited energy machines driving legs and arms chasing this black and white geoshaped ball randomly. I was very excited when one of my little guys scored his first goal. This is a kid who hadn’t played before and doesn’t even come to practice with his own ball or cleats. He just gets into the fray and kicks the ball free with such determination that he had an opportunity to kick it into the goal on the other side. I had him give me a high five and made a special fuss in front of his parents at the end of the practice. He was beaming and I wanted that moment to be special for him. I hope I get that opportunity with each of my players — the feeling of achieving something special and being recognized for it. My philosophy at this age level is to make it an overall enjoyable experience and lots of fun. At this age, that is the only way to get them to return next year. If I can sneak in a soccer skill here or there (such as a throw in technique or stopping the ball with a “bug stop” — i.e. stepping on the ball), I will. However, the big picture is what is more important — them learning how to be part of a team and having fun playing sports.

As I said in my post title, “what a kick”. The first game is tomorrow and I hope to have more positive moments with these kids.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

As most of you know from reading this blog, Sundays are our God and family days. Well, not today — or at least that not how it seems. The kids woke up cranky and we were in some kind of funk. Church wasn’t an option today though because it was a youth involved service we were looking forward to. In addition, my oldest daughter is going to be involved in the service on Mother’s Day next week and will be carrying the crucifix. She needs to go to Sunday school this week to familiarize herself with the ritual and get comfortable with it all.

So I told my wife to go with my oldest daughter and I would stay at home with the young ‘ens. That way she could also go into town afterwards like she had planned. I don’t think the idea took that well until my son woke up complaining about the breakfast menu.

The two oldest ladies were off to church and I started in on my day. The list included getting the smoker prepped for our dinner, mowing the front lawn (an hour and half job), changing the oil in my wife’s truck that just left and is now at 200F degrees, and cleaning out my truck from the planting work of yesterday. I enlisted my son’s help in getting the smoker going. I stuck to my guns and didn’t make him pancakes like he wanted (long story — Mommy makes pancakes for the whole family, not just one person and Sundays usually aren’t pancake days because of the time constraints. Aren’t you glad you asked?). Instead he gobbled down a waffle of the frozen toaster variety (you’re talkin’ Dad here, not a gourmet chef) and joined me on the back patio.

I had planned this meal a few days ago so my charcoal and wood chip supplies were plentiful. I got my son going on filling the wheelbarrow with water (for soaking the wood chips) and I cleaned out the water bowl, grates and filled the charcoal recepticle. Soon we were “blasting off” — the whoosh of the freshly squirted lighter fluid inspiring awe in my son’s eyes. I only hope I instilled some respect of fire when I told him “Only Daddy does this part. You can get a very big owey.”. Soon the baby back rips properly seasoned were on their way to culinary enjoyment.

While prepping the ribs, I was actually able to enjoy both my middle daughter and son play together with the fridge magnet in the kitchen. Of course, while I was out actually putting the ribs on the smoker they were not properly referreed and got into a spat. Given that it was still early and this was round 2 (or 3 or 4), I put them both in their rooms for 1/2 hour. At which time my wife calls to thank me for letting them go off to church alone for some quiet time. All in a day’s work, right?

Well, 1/2 hour is up, I am checking off items on my list, so I have the kids come out to the front yard with me while I mow. I would continually check the corner of my eye, but all body language from them (they were about 100-200 feet away) indicated they were still cooperating and playing well together. Of course this was difficult to determine with my earplugs in and mowing sideways to them. But all in all it looked good. Kinda like how my lawn was slowly appearing as I removed swipe by swipe of tall grass to reveal a smooth green carpet below.

Ribs on the smoker, front lawn mowed, fountain pump installed (a quick win) and it was now time to turn on the NASCAR race. My wife wasn’t home yet and a lot was done…..with the kids, or 2/3 of them anyways. I deserved some R & R. Talladega was the answer. When my wife got home, her words were “Is that thing on?” — referring to the race. She then told me the little story of the sermon given by the youth pastor (remember? it was youth Sunday) entitled “Hide and Seek”. She felt it was written just for her where there are times when you don’t feel God is close to you (as in when the kids were fighting this morning and we were in a funk) but then He pops out to reveal Himself to you (the first radio song on the way to church was Martina McBride’s “Blessed” — lyrics covered here in this post — followed by the beautiful hot air balloon race that ended right by church with over two dozen balloons looking for a place to touch down). The church message was perfectly timed and enjoyed.

I balanced the next few hours with the NASCAR race at Talledaga, letting my wife’s motor cool down so I could change the oil and instructing my son on the finer points of watching a NASCAR race. He sat down with me the entire race. Of course, he snuck in a few hour nap. I enjoyed my driver dominating and leading the most laps. A huge wreck extended the ordeal. My wife couldn’t believe how long it was going and added to her previous comment — “Is that thing STILL on?”. I pulled the ribs off during another red flag crash and we chowed on dinner with the race still on. I finally enjoyed my driver taking the checker flag which released me to go work on the rest of my list (after driver interviews of course).

A quick oil change to my wife’s truck led me to my truck. I was going to begin cleaning it out when my wife and kids joined me. They all took over while I could go for extra credit — the back lawn. With the property requiring almost 5 hours of mowing, I have tried an alternative philosophy of doing the front pasture (1 1/2 hours) on one weeknight, the front lawn (1 1/2 hours) on another weeknight and the back lawn (1 1/2 hours) on another weeknight. This leaves the weekend whole but does not neglect the love and care needed by the grass. Last week’s rain didn’t allow me to test my weeknight mowing theory so I was a little behind. So extra credit for mowing the back seemed appropriate. Of course, halfway through required a trip to WalMart for gas. This bumped me up against the light limits because I didn’t get back until 8:20pm. I had just started contemplating the headlight option for the mower when I took my last swipe. By the time I got it airblown off, parked and in the garage, the clock read 9:18pm. My son was enjoying a DVD and my wife was almost asleep (remember that long nap during the race?). He wasn’t going to bed anytime soon so I grabbed the paper for some wind down time to keep him company.

Wow, quite a long posting for no philosophical insights, political rantings, or interesting thoughts (Sunday sermon speak excluded). I guess this post just gives you a regular, ordinary snapshot into a weekend day here. Maybe that’s what the transformation to Kentucky has become. It is no longer this test of turbulent, new waters but a slowly revealing look into our adaptation to scenery that is now more familiar to us.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

While we didn’t get the expected storm last night or today, it did rain up until this morning. Everything is wet and the skies are grey. Although by the end of the day the sun started to take command. Tomorrow should be nicer with a spring-like week owning the greater part of the days.

I took advantage of the soft soil and lower temps to do quite a bit of planting today. I started off the morning with a red bud tree that has beautiful purple flowers and foliage in the spring. These trees stick out like purple sore thumbs in the forests of green everywhere. I then moved to the front entryway out by the mailbox. A burning bush and forsynthia on each side will give seasonal color as you come onto the property. A trip to WalMart with my son gave us the needed planting soil and mulch to finish the job. When we returned, we planted the kids’ fruit trees – one for each of them; a pear, a yellow apple and a red apple. Each child helped me plant their tree and I hope that in 10 or 20 years they can pick some fruit and remenisce on this day to when the tree was smaller than them. Even better will be when they bring their children to pick from “their” tree. These trees are very long term investments — a nice metaphor for some other priorities we have in life: faith, marriage, children, education.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net

My oldest daughter had to work on a school project at a friend’s house so we went into town to pick her up. Dark clouds were rolling in from the west and you could see the rain bands falling in the distance. As we drove home, the coulds were upon us darkening everything up. But you could see clear, blue sky on the horizon. Rain began to fall and the clouds began their exit to the east with the sun setting in the west. One of the kids then pointed out the rainbow. It was so spectacular that we pulled over to watch it unfold. We had a good view east towards the dark clouds with a command over the whole horizon. With the setting sun behind us to the west, a huge full half circle rainbow was revealed in a most amazing fashion. I drove slowly in a little circle in the dirt parking lot so everyone could have a full view (I’ve had pilots do that in the air over the Grand Canyon). What a special family moment. I told the kids that I was happy that I could share the biggest rainbow I had ever seen with them. And then it slowly faded away only to be real in our memories.

…..Dan at aslowerpace dot net