A Slower Pace

Subject: California

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you’re a Californian if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . ….is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don’t even notice.
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks’ wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS George Clooney.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers you mail is
into S&M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
17. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with the cells or pagers.
19. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related s$@# .
20. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
21. Both you AND your dog have therapists . . . and lastly,
22. The Terminator is your governor.

I’ve been through a lot during the move and this transition. I’ve made it this far, but the hardest thing so far has been something I am missing right now.

That thing that I am missing is…..the 2005 Consumer Electronics Show.

I know, I know. A tear is welling up in your eye as you imagine a tech geek like me having to go through the of seeing all the new gadget releases on the evening news or worse yet, special CES reviews on TechTV. All without being there. I have attended most of the shows since 1992. I WAS THERE WHEN MICROSOFT PRE-RELEASED MICROSOFT BOB in 1994!!! I still get misty eyed when I caress my MS Bob pin…..his yellow smiley face looking so much like his Wal-Mart cousin. Add to the pain that the show is hosted by the wholesome crowd in Las Vegas. There is a nickel video poker machine somewhere that is screaming my name.

Alas, but in 2005 it is not to be. Too far. Too close to our move date. Too much time away from work. Too new of a situation for me to leave the family. I think I will passify myself with some retro Mattel LED football circa 1981. Bleep, bleep.

…..Dan at aslowerpace

PS – the above pain is still not as great as having to go through cable broadband withdrawals and use dial up.

There are a few things out here in the country that you don’t expect to hear…..like the doorbell. We are too far from the service areas for door to door pizza, too spread out for soliciters and Jehovah’s Witnesses and usually people just plain can’t find you. So when the doorbell rang after dinner Thursday night, it surprised me.

Usually when the doorbell rings, it is the kids ringing it because A) they want into the garage so they can take off their muddy shoes or B) they are just playing with it. Since we were all still in the dining room, it was neither. Turns out, it was the pastor from the church we attended on Sunday. He stopped by to deliver a welcome bag from the congregation. It was a nice outreach symbol and shows that they have some good programs to make a positive impact on the community.

We chatted with him for a few minutes and then let him get back to his family and dinner. It was nice that he could take the time to come all the way out here and make us feel welcome. We’re gonna try the late service tomorrow which has a friendship pizza lunch afterwards. Hopefully, we’ll meet some more people and keep building our new network.

…..Dan at aslowerpace